Tuesday, March 4, 2008

So I finally am able to post some more pics! We go home March 14! Needless to say I am anxious. But I know she will do very well at home. I only pray that she will soon be able to run around like any other toddler. I watch her look at other children her age and I know she is thinking, "I used to do that...and I will do it again!" Enjoy some of the pics...

Saturday, February 16, 2008

I hae been praying ALOT! Mostly about praising the Lord for our trials. All from Psalm (I just open the bible and these were before me this am at work)
Some scriptures I have been reading:

Psalm 116:7
"Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the Lord has been good to you.

Psalm 117:2
"For great is his love toward us,
and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever."

Psalm 118:13-16
"I was pushed back and about to fall,
but the Lord helped me.
The Lord is my strength and my song;
he has become my salvation.
...The Lord's right hand has done mighty things!
The Lord's right hand is lifted high;
the Lord's right hand has done mighty things!"

Psalm 118:18
"The Lord has chastened me severely
but he has not given me over to death."

Psalm 118:29
"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,
his love endures forever."

Lord, you have done mighty things in my life! You have presented me with miracles everyday! How can I ever doubt your love for me? You have been so good to me! I praise you and give thanks to you! I AM TRULY YOURS! IN YOUR GRACIOUS AND HOLY, HOLY NAME!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

A good conversation

My daughter is the center of my world right now. I can't lose sight that I still need to be chasing after the Lord during this time. I find myself talking on the way home from the hospital to God (it's usually around 10pm so not alot of people on the road to look at me funny...and so what if they do!?) Last night it was a conversation to him about needing him and I found myself telling him that I would give anything to let Ava get better. He isn't a "bargaining God". He IS. He WILL. It's not up to me to bargain with him on this. He Is going to do whatever it takes to do what he wills in my life. And since she is the center of my life, He is focusing is WILL on her. I have to have peace with that. Peace...now that is a whole other subject. How can one have peace with thoughts constantly running through the mind? Well, that is where I have to turn to God. Jesus NEVER had peace, he was peace, and is peace. He constantly was on the move. Even when he did try to have peace and pray, people sought him out, satan tried to tempt him, or he had overwhelming thoughts that he spoke with God about in prayer. I don't HAVE to have peace with it; I just need to turn it over to HIM. SO, last night while driving and talking with Him, it turned into a prayer. And when I got home and went to bed, it was still a prayer. We talked for about 2 hours. Or I talked for about 2 hours. And during that, I was asking for him to speak to me, and I couldn't hear him, but I kept talking. SO I finally stopped.....
And a calm feeling came over me. And I slept, very well (no bad dreams, no fears, etc). HE SPOKE TO ME. HE TOUCHED ME. I haven't felt that in a LONG time. I needed that. So yes, the center of my world right now is Ava, but now I know that God needs to be the center and with that Ava will be part of that beautiful relationship.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

My little girl is back...

Well, since most of you that are viewing this also view the caring bridge website, I am going to write things that are more on my mind-kinda a journal if you guys don't mind.
When I first found out I was pregnant I was EXCITED as most of you know that feeling. Then my next thought was, I HOPE IT ISN'T A GIRL! What a thought right? Well, for me, a girl would be horrible b/c of the fear of raising girls these days. Do I really know how to raise a girl? What if she and I are too much alike and we fight? I don't know how to teach her to wear makeup, dress nice or fashionably, or do a pedicure (I always have Jennifer do that for me). Am I a good enough role model for her?
Those questions are all good, but the real question is...How can I teach her to be a Godly Woman? Any thoughts or suggestions? Well, God has presented me with a lesson plan for her. I see it every day. That is why I try to film her, take pictures of her, journal about her progess and trials, and journal my challenges. Through me she can see Christ, through Shane she can see how a Father should be and how THE Father is.
For now, from what the doctors first said about her condition from the strokes is that her personality would be affected. This last week, she has blossomed! There is definitely a miracle working before me and everyone around her. I think her first lesson has proved successful...shine your light through me. He is shining His light through Ava. I see it everyday in her smile and beautiful green eyes. And my lesson is a success as well...I can SEE IT! I can see HIM!

Ava still has that charming personality!