A good conversation

My daughter is the center of my world right now. I can't lose sight that I still need to be chasing after the Lord during this time. I find myself talking on the way home from the hospital to God (it's usually around 10pm so not alot of people on the road to look at me funny...and so what if they do!?) Last night it was a conversation to him about needing him and I found myself telling him that I would give anything to let Ava get better. He isn't a "bargaining God". He IS. He WILL. It's not up to me to bargain with him on this. He Is going to do whatever it takes to do what he wills in my life. And since she is the center of my life, He is focusing is WILL on her. I have to have peace with that. Peace...now that is a whole other subject. How can one have peace with thoughts constantly running through the mind? Well, that is where I have to turn to God. Jesus NEVER had peace, he was peace, and is peace. He constantly was on the move. Even when he did try to have peace and pray, people sought him out, satan tried to tempt him, or he had overwhelming thoughts that he spoke with God about in prayer. I don't HAVE to have peace with it; I just need to turn it over to HIM. SO, last night while driving and talking with Him, it turned into a prayer. And when I got home and went to bed, it was still a prayer. We talked for about 2 hours. Or I talked for about 2 hours. And during that, I was asking for him to speak to me, and I couldn't hear him, but I kept talking. SO I finally stopped.....
And a calm feeling came over me. And I slept, very well (no bad dreams, no fears, etc). HE SPOKE TO ME. HE TOUCHED ME. I haven't felt that in a LONG time. I needed that. So yes, the center of my world right now is Ava, but now I know that God needs to be the center and with that Ava will be part of that beautiful relationship.